Ever have those nights where you can't sleep. Yeah, this is one for
me. Lots of my mind. Nothing particularly good or bad, just a lot of
things. I'm sorry if this is kind of a ranty, random post. But it's late, no pictures, just words :)
One thing is that I love my Parents and I'm grateful for them and I just wanted
to say that. I've been learning lots of little lessons quitting my coaching job. The main one is that kids for the most part behave like
their parents. Those women and are hateful and petty and sad have
taught that to their daughters and so I'm a sad for that. I also know
that I will do my best to teach Alex different lessons in hopes that she
will grow up to be confident. kind and loving. That entitlement is a sad way to go through life, and that meanness is usually a mask that hides insecurity and fear.
I feel like I really stood up for myself leaving this job, and although a
lot of people are very angry at me, I know I did what was best for me
and my family, and I"m not sorry for that. My mom and dad have always
taught to me be a gracious loser (even though that's still a tough one
for me) and to be confident in my decision and my mistakes. To own both
and to learn from the ones who don't go my way. They taught me to fight
for what I believe in, but it's ok to fail, and that picking ourselves
up is more important. Asking for help is not a weakness but a sign you have truly matured. I struggle with that, but I know the lesson, and try to teach that to Alex. It's clearly evident in her constant asking of "Hap Peese", which we know as "Help Please" :).
As I sit an analyze by decisions and wonder is there something more I can do. The truth of it is, does it really matter? I stand by what I did and I have no regrets. Having no regrets doesn't mean I'm not sad and it doesn't hurt, because it does, a lot. But I'm finding that my regrets are just issues that I haven't resolved in my head yet. I don't regret mistakes because I can learn from them and we all make mistakes. I just hope that 30 years from now when Alex hopefully has her family and kids, she can look back at her decisions with conviction and know that the lessons taught to her by her parents, were first taught to us by her grandparents!
