Ever have those nights where you can't sleep. Yeah, this is one for
me. Lots of my mind. Nothing particularly good or bad, just a lot of
things. I'm sorry if this is kind of a ranty, random post. But it's late, no pictures, just words :)
One thing is that I love my Parents and I'm grateful for them and I just wanted
to say that. I've been learning lots of little lessons quitting my coaching job. The main one is that kids for the most part behave like
their parents. Those women and are hateful and petty and sad have
taught that to their daughters and so I'm a sad for that. I also know
that I will do my best to teach Alex different lessons in hopes that she
will grow up to be confident. kind and loving. That entitlement is a sad way to go through life, and that meanness is usually a mask that hides insecurity and fear.
I feel like I really stood up for myself leaving this job, and although a
lot of people are very angry at me, I know I did what was best for me
and my family, and I"m not sorry for that. My mom and dad have always
taught to me be a gracious loser (even though that's still a tough one
for me) and to be confident in my decision and my mistakes. To own both
and to learn from the ones who don't go my way. They taught me to fight
for what I believe in, but it's ok to fail, and that picking ourselves
up is more important. Asking for help is not a weakness but a sign you have truly matured. I struggle with that, but I know the lesson, and try to teach that to Alex. It's clearly evident in her constant asking of "Hap Peese", which we know as "Help Please" :).
As I sit an analyze by decisions and wonder is there something more I can do. The truth of it is, does it really matter? I stand by what I did and I have no regrets. Having no regrets doesn't mean I'm not sad and it doesn't hurt, because it does, a lot. But I'm finding that my regrets are just issues that I haven't resolved in my head yet. I don't regret mistakes because I can learn from them and we all make mistakes. I just hope that 30 years from now when Alex hopefully has her family and kids, she can look back at her decisions with conviction and know that the lessons taught to her by her parents, were first taught to us by her grandparents!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
I'm back....
Whoa! I know I know. It's been 4 Months of a hiatus for me. I'd like to think I have a good reason. Part of it I think is time got away from me and part of it was I found I was losing things to talk about because I was so darn busy. When I took my "part time coaching job", who knew that it'd turn out to be a life consuming endeavor. Ok, so I knew a little bit, since that's how I roll, but I figured I'd be better. Nope. Sadly, when I'm in season it's all consuming. I can't help myself. I eat, sleep, and breathe dance. I'm hoping I didn't neglect Alex too much. I don't think I have much to worry about though. We had an AWESOME college student that looked after her. Seriously, I would clone this girl if I could. Finding someone to watch Alex after her, is like having a gas station burger after eating Prime Rib.
Alas, my life became dance team, and dance team my life and "At Home" life consisted of me going through a million things most people aren't interested in involving dance. Then our season ended the end of March and I was excited to have more time on my hands. Of course, we go and do something crazy and decide literally on a whim to sell the house and buy a new one because rates are so good (which lets face it, they totally are!). Then life became cleaning and staging the house, trying to keep Alex from destroying it to much, and a fun but exhausting list of searching, touring and house hunting.
Well, as most of you know, we sold our house (in 2 days, with 2 offers), and found our new house in Onalaska, which I'm itching to get it. Now, when I think I have a breather, we need to move out of our house in 2 weeks, move in with the in-laws, and a new journey begins until we can move into the new house. It should be interesting. Don't get me wrong I am thrilled and thankful that they are letting us live with them, but of course there are concerns. The main one being, how are 2 retired grandparents going to handle the mini-tornado that is their 16 month old granddaughter. One that is supremely independent, very vocal, stubborn to a fault, all wrapped up in a giggling, goofy, and recently very cranky little package. They live a quiet life and although close, we usually only see them once a week. Now we will be together 24-7 for a little over a month.
In Alex news, she is ever changing, growing, and astonishing us every day. She has 4 molars, and each one was a painful few days of not sleeping, cranky kiddo and an emotional mommy. I have now been at home with Alex 24-7 for 5 weeks, and honestly most days I love. The ones I don't enjoy so much are when she's in a bad mood or she's really cranky and then there is nothing I can do to change that. I've also learned that days we can't get outside and run around are kind of painful. This kid needs to run, and explore, and be on the move, which is another reason I am really happy to get our of our small, vertical cape cod, into a much bigger space. She is a talker, like her momma, and has an opinion on everything. You can't always understand what she's saying, but she lets your know if her own way. Too much to talk about in the one post, but hopefully I can keep up with posts as our life goes though a new and exciting transition.
 |
| Rocking the Beavis and Butthead shirt |
Alas, my life became dance team, and dance team my life and "At Home" life consisted of me going through a million things most people aren't interested in involving dance. Then our season ended the end of March and I was excited to have more time on my hands. Of course, we go and do something crazy and decide literally on a whim to sell the house and buy a new one because rates are so good (which lets face it, they totally are!). Then life became cleaning and staging the house, trying to keep Alex from destroying it to much, and a fun but exhausting list of searching, touring and house hunting.
Well, as most of you know, we sold our house (in 2 days, with 2 offers), and found our new house in Onalaska, which I'm itching to get it. Now, when I think I have a breather, we need to move out of our house in 2 weeks, move in with the in-laws, and a new journey begins until we can move into the new house. It should be interesting. Don't get me wrong I am thrilled and thankful that they are letting us live with them, but of course there are concerns. The main one being, how are 2 retired grandparents going to handle the mini-tornado that is their 16 month old granddaughter. One that is supremely independent, very vocal, stubborn to a fault, all wrapped up in a giggling, goofy, and recently very cranky little package. They live a quiet life and although close, we usually only see them once a week. Now we will be together 24-7 for a little over a month.
In Alex news, she is ever changing, growing, and astonishing us every day. She has 4 molars, and each one was a painful few days of not sleeping, cranky kiddo and an emotional mommy. I have now been at home with Alex 24-7 for 5 weeks, and honestly most days I love. The ones I don't enjoy so much are when she's in a bad mood or she's really cranky and then there is nothing I can do to change that. I've also learned that days we can't get outside and run around are kind of painful. This kid needs to run, and explore, and be on the move, which is another reason I am really happy to get our of our small, vertical cape cod, into a much bigger space. She is a talker, like her momma, and has an opinion on everything. You can't always understand what she's saying, but she lets your know if her own way. Too much to talk about in the one post, but hopefully I can keep up with posts as our life goes though a new and exciting transition.
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